I find myself struggling with this often. I respond on emotion TOO often. The past few weeks have been weird. Like i've been in this "lull" about life. Like i've been living in a fog or something. I kept telling myself "choose joy", "cheer up!" "snap out of it". and I really just couldn't!
Then I realized that "joy" is not something the flesh can conjure up. That's what "happiness" is. The difference is one is based on circumstances and one is based on truth. Happiness comes when you get a new car, but immediately fades when you ding the door. Joy comes when the Holy Spirit opens your eyes to something eternal, when circumstances matter not and joy remains.
Something that helps is reading God's Word. I have become awful about being in the Word and it is effecting me so much. I hate admitting what I become when I'm not meditating on truth, but the reality is, I'm not who God intended me to be when I'm living for me.
That is my sin.
Telling God I've got things covered. That "I'm good."
I do this often. TOO often.
I've been telling God "no" for awhile now. Probably a good 7 months. I don't like that i do it, but I do. I'm learning to surrender. It sucks. Let's be real. Giving up my rights? My plans? MYSELF? What. No thanks.
But you know what? His love remains.
You Know what? He keeps pursuing me.
Why? Because He's God and I can't understand that even if I tried. Really hard.
His LOVE is that big. Big enough to press on despite my rebellion.
"He knows my going out and lying down. He is familiar with ALL my ways." ps 139.
Thank goodness! That is something to choose joy about.
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