I'm in this season of waiting right now. I hate waiting. I hate not knowing. I hate not being able to control and predict what's going on, or what's going to happen.
I'm a planner.
I'm realizing that more and more every day. Though, I'm grateful I know that at 21 and not 50. I'm very similar to my dad and he hasn't quite realized/come to terms with being the same way (controlling and a planner). We're not very laid back, "it'll work out" kind of people. If there's not a plan and even worse, if its set in motion, all hell breaks loose. Stress levels raise and joy is stripped from us, as well as all those around us. Too many stories to illustrate this, I'll spare you. haha.
Anyways the Spirit has been pounding me with believing truths I've grown up hearing and knowing.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Prov 3:5-6
&
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7
Simple. simple. simple. not so simple. Lean NOT on my own understanding? What? That's pulling teeth. Don't be anxious about ANYTHING? What? "but my lease is up this month! i need a ROOMMATE NOW!"
In all of this, I told myself I wouldn't worry cuz i KNEW God would come through for me. He ALWAYS does. I was doing pretty good, planning a little, thinking through things, being wise without the worry. Well Sunday I broke, I woke up lonely and sad, lost and confused. "what am i doing? I can't expect God to just drop something into my lap?! that's crazy!" In all of that, i ran, ran hard to Jesus because frankly, i got nothing. Without Him i have no options, no hope for fullness or abundance. And honestly, that's all I want. I don't want to settle in ANY area of my life, even living situation/roommates. So i prayed, and prayed and prayed.
And.
Yesterday.
FOUR different options literally fell in my lap.
really Lord? ARe you sure? Me? All this for me?
Wow. I am left in awe. Speechless and overwhelmed.
Thank You Father. You are a FAITHFUL PROVIDER!!
When darkness is surrounding me,
ReplyDeleteby your spirit Lord help me see,
that you are working all things out,
Lord i really need to hear you speak
so remind me in the waiting
you are working all things out
for the good
of those who are called by you
for the good
of those who are in love with you
thats why we sing
holy God of light
i lay down my life
holy is the Lord
even in the storm
be glorified
Matthew 6:25-34
Do not worry lovely!
<3
Beautiful post dear! I am like you, I love the plans and sticking to them. I've kinda realized that that part of my life is like a little kid with a parent. They want to do what the parent does, they think they can, but really... sometimes there are things we can not see/control/understand. Thanks for sharing your heart!
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